The Dark Side of Values
When we talk about values, we usually frame them as the positive compass points that guide our decisions and shape our lives. They give us direction, help us choose priorities, and act as a foundation for the culture we build in our schools and communities. But like most strengths, values have another side. When taken to extremes, even our most cherished values can begin to work against us.
Consider commitment. For many school leaders and educators, commitment is a deeply held value. It reflects loyalty to staff/colleagues, dedication to students, and a sense of responsibility to the community. Yet when commitment tips into overcommitment, it can lead to exhaustion, blurred boundaries, a sense of being spread too thin and we begin to wear it as a badge of honour. What began as a source of purpose may quietly transform into a source of strain.
Another example is excellence. Striving for high standards is essential in education, but when excellence slips into perfectionism, it begins to limit us from taking action, and it creates stress for leaders, staff, and students alike. It narrows our focus to what is not yet good enough, rather than celebrating what is already working well.
Even compassion, a value that underpins strong leadership, especially in the education sector, has a dark side. Leaders who are deeply empathetic may delay difficult conversations or avoid holding people accountable. Or they might give so much of themselves to others and be so compassionate, they become sponges to the emotions of those around them, which can have a very negative impact on their mental and physical health, as show in our ‘The Silent Cost’ study.
These examples highlight an important truth: every value has both a bright and a dark side. What makes the difference is our ability to notice when a value is tipping into excess and to bring it back into balance.
Recognising the dark side of values does not mean we abandon them. Instead, it calls us to hold them with perspective. To acknowledge when we are allowing a value to be overused or overplayed both to our detriment, and to the detriment of those we serve. Values work best when they sit alongside each other, counteracting and grounding one another. For instance, pairing compassion with courage allows us to care for people while also having the conviction to hold those same people to account. Pairing excellence with flexibility helps us maintain high standards while remaining adaptable when things do not go to plan. Commitment, when held with balance, includes commitment to the needs of others as well as our own.
As educators, it is not enough to know what your values are, you also need to examine how they show up in your daily decisions and behaviours. A good place to start is by looking for the warning signs that a value may have tipped into excess. For example:
Commitment: Are you saying “yes” to everything and finding it difficult to step back, even when it is unsustainable?
Excellence: Do high standards sometimes slow progress because nothing feels “good enough”?
Compassion: Are there moments when your care for others is having a negative impact on your own mental health and wellbeing?
The challenge is not in naming our values but in recognising when they start working against us. This requires paying attention to patterns. When a value is out of balance, it leaves traces: exhaustion, rising frustration, stalled progress, or a culture that feels off. Reflecting in this way helps us see not just the value itself, but the ripple effect it has on our wellbeing, our teams, and the environment we create.
Perhaps the invitation is this: honour and work with your values, but do not let them run unchecked.